When God Reminded Me Who Worship Is Really For

After things began to settle, I became a little more accepting. I started going through my list of questions, researching and learning. I realized that many of the practices—like the readings from the little black book, the siddur—were traditional rather than commanded by God.

At first, that unsettled me. But then I thought about the Christian church I came from. It also had traditions that weren’t found in Scripture, yet we did them because they were meaningful. I had participated in many of those traditions, and I had never questioned them.

That realization gave me peace. I said to myself, “This is where the Lord has me. Even if I don’t fully understand everything, I can still be present and open.”

The worship music was another adjustment. Many songs were entirely in Hebrew, some in both Hebrew and English, and others were familiar Christian worship songs translated into Hebrew. When I recognized the melody, I felt connected. But when the music was completely unfamiliar—especially songs in Hebrew I didn’t know—it became harder to engage.

One day, during worship, I felt especially frustrated. I silently complained to God: “I can’t even connect. I don’t know the words. I don’t even know what I’m saying.”

And then I heard a still, small voice:
“Who said the worship was for you?”

That moment pierced my heart. I had forgotten who worship was truly for.

I stopped trying to understand the lyrics and started focusing on the Lord. I imagined Him on His throne, receiving worship from His people in every tongue—including this one. And just like that, it changed. I began to see worship differently. My heart shifted. My focus realigned.

And something unexpected happened.

Once my heart shifted, I began to receive the very sense of fulfillment I had been longing for from the beginning. The connection I had wanted so desperately didn’t come when I was trying to feel something—it came when I stopped focusing on myself and simply offered worship to God.

Quietly, the Lord showed me that worship was never meant to fill me first. It was meant to honor Him. And yet, when my heart aligned with that truth, He graciously filled me anyway.